Do you like fun? Do you like amazing game play with tight extremely intuitive controls and a gripping storyline? If your answer is yes then you’ll fucking HATE Resident Evil 6. From what i’ve played of this game it’s not great at all. I plan on doing a full review but please allow me time to play the 30+ hour campaign with all the side modes in there before I do.
OK I’ll be a bit more specific. First off I want to say that I haven’t finished the current campaign that i’m on. Currently i’m playing as Leon in a 4 campaign game and currently put about 8 hours or so into it. I’m almost finished but to be honest give the game about 5-10 minutes to leave it’s impression on you. The saying you only make a first impression once has never rungs so true for this game. The game is a struggle to play and i’m currently working my way through it to justify my purchase. So why do I find it such a bind to play? Well the start of the Leon campaign begins aiding your co-op partner through a back alley to escape shambling zombies. After ducking under random things and already having taken control for 2 mins does the game show up the movement controls. Like quick time events? How about one 30 seconds after learning how to move…to open a door?…does this appeal to you? I should also note that this game doesn’t actually teach you how to perform the moves and you have to learn this shit yourself. Leon is a sluggish character that when you’re dealing with diving zombies (no joke) I couldn’t actually move out of the way in time until I accidentally stumbled across the dive move with in itself is a fucking shambles to do. Instead of a simple button press and a direction on the analogue stick you have to aim, choose a direction and then press A on the 360 controller. It doesn’t really help because by the time i’ve fucking figured out how to do it it’s too late and I have a zombie chewing on my face.
The guns do fuck all as well. They work about as well as throwing a Greggs triple chocolate muffin at an enemy…thinking about it it’d probably do more damage. So OK, you know the rule about zombies and how you need to shoot them in the head to stop them? That does fuck all in this game. What’s annoying is that I like zombies and have been a fan of random zombie related films and games since I was a kid. So when i’m sat watching a film and some knob is shooting a zombie in the heart and body continuously looking at his gun wondering if he’s actually shooting jelly beans at him I find myself screaming SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD YOU FUCKING NUM NUTS! until he eventually gets chewed on. Try this in Resi Evil 6 and you’ll get the same effect. Shooting them in the head does fucking NOTHING! I have unloaded an entire clip in a zombies cranium only to get knawed on numerous times. It’s frustrating. Of course with any Resi game you are met with varients on your typical zombie increasing in difficulty but when I can’t defeat a zombie with ease because I have to unload an entire clip in his fucking skull what the fuck am I supposed to do later on? I mean i’m playing on normal and I understand that I could just change it to easy but I believe that my skills when it comes to games has surpassed easy. I mean i’m not claiming to be the best gamer in the world and I know i’m not, but if you’ve played games even on a casual level you can usually complete a game on normal with a decent amount of challenge but not enough to totally corrupt a persons mind and make them want to commit hari kari. If I have to hear my AI partner shout “LLLEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!” one more time after I have been killed I am going to go fucking postal. Another mechanic that is brought into the game is the abilty to be saved by your AI or co-op partner (sorry I forgot to mention that this game has coop but who gives a shit right?) You’re given about 10-15 seconds of time on the floor still able to shoot while your partner saves you and once revived one more hit and you’re dead. So when you’re surrounded by enemies and your partner revives you and they take a swipe as you’re getting up YOU FUCKING DIE! WHY GIVE ME A CHANCE TO LIVE WHEN YOU’RE JUST GOING TO FUCKING KILL ME ANYWAY?! Give me an opportunity to heal myself or GTFO!
Another thing about the shooting is that the aiming in that game is dog shit. Indulge me for a second if you will. Think about a time you played a fantastic 3rd person action game, my example will be Uncharted. Think about how amazing the gun play is in that game. Tight responsive controls and when the reticle appears on screen if you aim at a head then you’ll hit the head and when moving the reticle around you know you’re going to hit where you want to shoot. Ok so now imagine a reticle with a laser sight in it that after you shoot the weapon for the first time THE FUCKING LASER SIGHT SWIMS AROUND THE RETICLE SO YOU CAN’T HIT STRAIGHT EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE AIMING DIRECTLY AT AN ENEMIES HEAD! I just don’t get it. The first time you encounter a zombie I aimed my weapon and cracked off a shot. It didn’t do any damage as these zombies are made out of bulletproof skin, so when I thought I had my shot lined up still the laser sight would swim around for a good 5 seconds until it resets to allow you to take another shot. Low and behold I get taken down and another QTE.
OH YEAH! The fucking quick time events. Fuck me sideways. So there was a game out this year called Asuras Wrath that had QTEs in them…in fact that was the entire basis of the game. The whole thing was basically a CGI anime with occasional interaction and it was pretty good. The QTEs of Resi 6 just feel completely disconnected. Want to escape a zombies grasp? PRESS A AS FAST AS YOU CAN MOTHERFUCKER!! Want to escape another zombies grasp? ROTATE THE LEFT STICK QUICKLY!! There’s one kind of QTE that is so contrived for the task you’re given it’s mind boggling why it was included. So at one section of the game you have to climb a rope. Simple right? WROOOOONG! The way that you have to climb it is fucking dumb but as I said earlier the game doesn’t explain moves or teach you these things. It shows a graphic at the bottom of the screen that is just fucking confusing. Basically you hold bother trigger buttons down and let off the left button, press the button back down and then releasing the right, continuously going back and forth. It took me ages to figure out what the game was trying to get across to me that I lost my mind. The main problem is that if you get the sequence wrong you slip back down the rope and fucking start again. Later on it gets worse because as you’re climbing the rope an enemy is chasing you up it YOU HAVE A QUICKTIME EVENT INTERRUPTING YOUR CURRENT QTE AND THEN YOU GET CONFUSED AND THEN LEEEEOOONNNNNN!!!! AAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Leave the fucking quick time events alone. I shouldn’t have to button mash the shit out of my controller to do something that shin any other self respecting game would just require me to push my analogue stick up to go up the rope. Fucking SIMPLE! You’re overly confusing and I hate you!
Some of the more ridiculous sections that I played that I came across is as follows:
– The moment you fight one of the bosses in the game that is basically a naked woman who has massive mutated scorpion like glowing pincers coming out of her. As she attacks you and knocks you to the floor, she literally straddles you like she’s raping you and even moans seductively. WTF?! Am I supposed to crack one off to this? Is this what Capcom really wants from me? Titilation from a mutant naked woman?
– That moment where you’re escaping mutant Jaws. So for those that played RE4, remember when you was on the lake fighting the giant crocodile thing and it’d knock you off the boat and you had to button mash to swim back to the boat? Ok so imagine that but you’re literally swimming on the spot! I literally hammered that A button and felt like I wasn’t moving and died a couple times. It doesn’t feel like you’re rushing away from Jaws as apposed to delightfully fucking treading water. Fucking frustrating.
– When you’re in a small room with a bunch of other survivors and have to fight a massive Left 4 Dead boomer sized woman who just charges at you and you have no where to run with no fucking ammo.
-Remember the classic movie Jurassic Park? How would you like to fight a T-Rex? HOW ABOUT A MUTANT T-REX AAAAGGGGHHHHH RUN AWAY! Yeah it’s fucking dumb. The main problem with this and the majority of the enemies is the lack of feedback, so you don’t know if you’re actually doing damage to it. Took me forever. Apparently with this game trail and error is da key! Only problem is that it’s more error than trial.
I really just want to put it out there that i’m not enjoying this game. I know a lot of reviews have been coming out and they’ve been pretty brutal by all accounts. I just wanted to give my personal experiences and thoughts about it. No doubt i’ll update this as I go along, but this is one of the more upsetting moments…purely because it’s taking me away from Borderlands 2.
Oh and the story is dumb. Apparently Umbrella isn’t dead despite the beginning of Resi 4 telling me that was the case! I had to turn on the subtitles as I wasn’t actually listening to the cutscenes and instead chose to read them as I was doing stuff in the background. Actually that reminds me of something else too. When changing options are assigning skills you have to do it in real time. As with other games that don’t pause when you’re changing weapons or messing around in your inventory (same as Resi 5) you can’t actually pause the game to change fucking basic gameplay aspects. I’m just going to change the subtitles to ON OH MY GOD A ZOMBIE’S ATTACKING ME AHHH CANCEL CANCEL!!!
[UPDATE: Sorry, sorry. I forgot another ridiculous moment. Explosive pong. Yes explosive pong. At one point there are little robotic disc shaped things on the floor that explode on contact. While your partner is trying to open a door you have to shoot them away from you and they literally bounce around like the ball out of pong while another couple of people *cough* Chris and his partner *cough* are trying to get to unlock a similar door on the opposite side of a wall. So you’re literally playing explosive pong with an AI character, shooting away discs and trying not to die. This goes on for 3-4 minutes…Explosive Pong. YOU’RE WECOME]